I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
