Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize