Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
