Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
