please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
