Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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