have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
