a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
