I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
