We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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