I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
