I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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