If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
