she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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