people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Life is so much better after having sex.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
