dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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