he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
