I wish I could punch you in the face.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
