I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
