Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
