Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
