so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
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