I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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