I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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