I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
