we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize