She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
