You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
