We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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