Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
