I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
