Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
