The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
