didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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