Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
