i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize