..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
