Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Randomize
