I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My vagina is very pro this idea
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
