Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
My vagina is officially offended.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
