So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I checked into jail on foursquare
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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