Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Someone shattered a urinal.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
