It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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