she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
