Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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