Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
