VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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