i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Randomize
