Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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