I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
