i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
