New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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