that's an acceptable place to lick
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
