If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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