I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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