It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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