Will you blow on my dice?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
