what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
