ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
