If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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